The cuckold of an ego run amok
As humans we experience the ego:
The sense of the individual self
The talking voice in your head
It’s talking all day. All the time. It doesn’t stop. It’s really quite annoying. It feels beyond our control. Like a never ending game of cat and mouse.
While that is happening in the head, the body operates on auto pilot.
We go through the motions of the days:
We brush the teeth
We feed the fish
We drive to work
All along, the voice in the head is still going. On and on and on.
We get lost in thoughts:
We’re disconnected from the experience of the present moment. We’re everywhere except right here.
All the while the voice has not stopped babbling- doesn't even seem to realize that the auto pilot is on.
Suddenly while we're at work we question:
Did I brush my teeth this morning?
Did I feed the fish?
How did I get to work?
We were so mindless during those experiences, we don’t even remember.
We live in our heads under the control of the ego. We don’t internalize our experiences.
The rabbit hole goes deeper.
We begin to confuse true reality for the version of reality that the talking voice tells us. The same voice that hasn’t been present with what’s going on.
We start to actually believe the story it tells. We listen intently to all of the thoughts. We validate the commentary even though we know the evidence it provides is skewed.
We are disconnected from our bodies. We are disconnected from the present moment.
And yet, we’re convinced by the arguments the ego makes.
The ego is such a clever defendant: always capable of maneuvering information so as to protect its own credibility and accuracy.
We develop the habit of believing the ego story without objectivity. Without seeing the bigger picture. We miss out on the nuanced truth wrapped up in the warped ego delusions.
We become narrow minded. We believe the voice in our head is right. Always right.
And it gets worse.
Even though we know it’s skewed, we become trapped by the egos convincing games.
We fall victim to poor patterns of thought and behavior. We get stuck operating in ways that do not serve ourselves or others and we can’t break the cycle.
Because we are disconnected from our body, and disconnected from the present moment. Tangled in the clutches of the ego.
And then something happens that our ego doesn’t like.
And the inner voice takes on a dark, mischievous tone.
“Get angry. Get frustrated.”
“Go on,” it says, “make a fuss.”
And so we do.
We blindly follow the voice’s lead:
We start shouting.
Emotions overwhelm us and so we dig our heels deeper.
“Keep fighting this,” the voice says, ‘I am right.’
And you say mean things.
You throw a tantrum.
You act selfishly.
You go a little crazy.
You’ve become completely brainwashed by the voice in your head.
You drank the goddamned Kool Aid.
You have lost control.
And in a brief flash of satori (sudden enlightenment) you realize it.
You hear the dark mischievous tone in your voice.
You hear yourself spewing out the crap that your very own ego has been feeding you.
You catch yourself in your own bullshit.
Maybe while brushing the teeth. Maybe while feeding the fish.
Maybe while driving through a red light to work.
Maybe while getting in frivolous arguments with loved ones.
Maybe while reacting too strongly to a joke.
Maybe while going a little bit kool-aid crazy.
And in that moment you have a choice:
You can keep on going through the motions of your days,
Lost in and controlled by the thoughts.
Disconnected from the body and from the present moment.
Digging your heels into the ego's cuckold.
As the great Alan Watts says,
You can ‘Come off it.’
You can get off the high horse mentality of the ego, and all of its other deceptive tactics.
You can call its bluff.
You can see the subjective, illusory nature of the stories the voice tells you.
You can acknowledge the temporality of your existence and beliefs.
You can loosen your grip to the story the ego tells.
And maybe realize that you’ve got no control over your mind.
And that you’ll likely never have control over your mind.
And worse, that it sometimes takes a little going kool-aid crazy to realize how little control you have over your mind.
In the paradoxical cryptic fashion of the universe
It becomes apparent that in realizing we have no control
Is when we can finally start to
Take back control.